Kari Krushes

When Junior Kari Sickles arrived at the Call Out Tournament (COT) at, Ft. Lauderdale High School she wasn't happy, "I was kind of frustrated. It's hard to get a match at call-out tournaments when you're a girl." The COT is where you ask an opponent if he will wrestle you. Its not an important school tournament, and even the periods are shorter than normal.

In order for Kari to get a match, her coach was going to have to do some hard work, “"My coach ended up having to talk to the other school's coaches in order to get me a match.” Her first match was against a boy from University High. Kari says the boys parents were very happy that their son would face her, "They were sitting between my mom and another rival team. When the coach told them who he was wrestling, they said 'Oh, an easy win to begin the season.' " However their son didn't seem to happy to be facing Kari, “He looked pretty nervous to be wrestling me haha.”

It turns out, he had reason to as Kari cruised, "Almost immediately after the whistle blew I snapped him down and got 2 points. I kept trying to pin him, but he was really squirmy and I couldn't quite get it, hahaha. He ended up getting one point for an escape in the second period because when he stood up he elbowed me in the nose and I let go out of pain. It wasn't too hard to take him back down though, so I kinda dominated him the entire match." Kari ended up winning the match, 11-1. “I felt pretty good afterwords because I'd wrestled well and won.”

Kari then wrestled another boy and lost by one point. “I just made a stupid mistake and underestimated him, and that's what happens."

While Kari was successful in getting the first two boys to say yes, the third boy proved to be more tricky. The boy she wanted to face didn't seem to want to face her. But luckily for Kari, his teammates started riding him. Kari says, “They said the usual taunts, things like "Are you really that scared of a girl? Is she really that much better than you? How much of a chicken can you be?"

But it was the boy's response that upset Kari. "One of my teammates was warming up for a match right next to them. My teammate told me the boy tried to act tough and say, “Of course I'm not afraid, she's just a girl, winning will be easy.” Kari did not fully believe her teammate.

“When he told me I thought he was exaggerating, but when I walked by them to get to the mat they were still talking about it. Also, we were on the mat right next to them - so I could see them talking and laughing and looking at me.

Kari was not pleased, “I was pretty mad - he was actually one of the first boys to really talk crap about me.” It wasn't just going to be a match now, now it was personal. “Winning became really important to me. I didn't want to lose to someone like that.”

But while Kari was confident based on her 11-1 route in her first match, she didn't really know how this match would go, “"I wasn't 100% sure I could crush him, because I hadn't really seen him wrestle, and didn't really know anything about him. All I initially thought of was winning."

Kari stepped on the mat and another thought came to her, “I'm not gonna lie, I wanted him to be embarrassed.” They shook hands and Kari gave him a firm hand shake, “I wanted him to be a bit intimidated.” Kari was met with a wet noodle, “That's when I thought 'I can definitely crush this kid.' "

While many times the girl is at a strength disadvantage, this time she felt her gender gave her an edge, "I think he was intimidated before we even shook hands. He was psyching himself out over the probability that he could lose to a girl haha."


The match started and Kari felt his disrespect grew. “The only time I've ever seen a wrestler just stand there at the start, it's been out of disrespect. And that's what he did. When the whistle blew, he kinda stood up a bit - like he was expecting me to just stand there and not know what to do while he took me down.”

That isn't what happened. “Well, I've never been very good at taking shots, so I lunged at him and attacked his head, trying to snap him down while showing him that I knew exactly what I was doing. Her opponent put a lot of effort into trying to get her down. But he was unsuccessful, "He wasn't really in a good position to get the take down, it was really easy for me to flatten him out.” But Kari still had work to do to get the two points, “It wasn't so easy getting his arms off and spinning behind. I put all of my effort into spinning behind him, but my team does a lot of conditioning and I didn't exhaust myself. After I sprawled, I had to get all the way behind him to get the two points."

It was extremely early in the match, and it was only 2-0, but Kari could feel her opponent had nothing left. “Once I had him down I knew I had him. He gave up on trying to base up after about 10 seconds. His coach was yelling at him but I just kept tilting him for back points.

"I was pretty excited that I'd gotten the 2 points, and when he kinda gave up it made me feel pretty confident that I would be winning the match - especially since he gave up so early in the match."

Then her opponent's coach started getting frustrated, "At that point, his coach started getting really mad at him. No coach wants to see their wrestler give up a minute into the match."
The first period ended and it was a romp, 10-0. While Kari was unsuccessful in getting the pin, she wasn't upset. “Where I live I actually never got too much disrespect from guys, so usually I'm not going into a match with the goal to embarrass someone lol, I just want to win.”
But this was a different case, Kari had been disrespected, and now she was going to return the favor, “At the end of the first, I was just thinking of a way to embarrass him - as mean as that may sound haha - so being in the lead by 10 points was fine by me, even if didn't have the pin."

Kari was not worried about her opponent making a comeback, “"When we stood back up he took his time and kept looking at the ground instead of at his coach or me. He did try harder for a take down in the second period, but it went a lot like the first period and he gave up a bit quicker. I knew he couldn't beat me at that point because he was mentally broken."
It was now 12-0, and it was getting dire for her opponent, “I was trying to turn him over, but since it was a call out tournament the 2nd period was shortened to a minute and I didn't really have a lot of time left. I got another near-fall for 2 points, and then with 10 seconds left I turned him again." Kari was having the time of her life, "I was enjoying myself, and I was enjoying beating him so badly hahaha. I was in my own world."

But there were still 10 seconds left in the 2nd period, and the score was 14-0. One more point for Kari, and it would be a tech fall. "When I turned him over, I knew that I would be getting the win because he wasn't really even trying to bridge off his back at that point. Unfortunately, I had lost track of the time towards the end so I didn't realize that there was almost none left. When the ref slapped the mat at the same time as the end of period buzzer, I just thought 'man, now I have to go into the third period because that probably didn't count.' But it turned out that it didn't matter, because I got enough points from the near-fall to give me a technical fall. The ref wanted to give me the pin, but wasn't really sure if he could give it to me, so he asked my opponents coach what he thought. The coach looked at the score and then looked at me and said 'I don't care, ask her what she wants.' " "So I chose the tech because that would be a more embarrassing way to lose, in my opinion.”

Kari had accomplished her goal, "I was smiling, because I was pretty happy with the outcome of the match. He just kinda stood there though - I'm sure he was embarrassed, because he'd talked crap and then lost 16 - 0."
It was time for the winners arm to be raised, and Kari couldn't wait. "It felt as good as it did the first time I ever got my hand raised. I don't really remember if I said anything to him, but I don't think I did, he just walked off to go sit with his teammates."

They would see each other again, but this time, her opponent had nothing to say, "I didn't see him again until counties, and when I walked by him his teammates said 'Hey, isn't that the girl that destroyed you?' and whenever he saw me after that he would turn and walk away from me. I guess his teammates made fun of him for losing."

Kari to this day doesn't understand the big deal about why it was such a big deal to lose to her, "It just seemed kind of stupid to me, honestly, because counties was a month later and he was still embarrassed about losing." She also thinks if they meet again, the goal will be different, “I've proven my point the first time , so if we ever wrestle each other again my goal won't be to embarrass him, just win."

Asked if she ever sees him again what would she want him to think, Kari says, "I guess I'd want him (and his team) to know that, just because I'm a girl, it doesn't mean I'm going to be a bad wrestler. Being a girl has nothing to do with my ability as a wrestler."

Does she think he knows that now? “I think he does.”

Molly Helsel Win Match, and Respect

While this is a book about girls who wrestle in high school, there is a match that has to be told, about a woman going against a man, in a grappling tournament. If you type Molly Helsel in Youtube, you will surely find the match. It lasts 3:19 and it shows that heart, brains, and determination sometimes can slay brawn.

Molly Helsel was just looking for a sword. Had the organizers of the NAGA Hawaii grappling tournament just awarded a samurai sword to the winners of the Woman's division, perhaps this story would never have happened.

Molly had entered the tournament the previous two years. But she was left unsatisfied as she only participated in one match. Molly won the second year and while she was happy with her victory, she was upset that the winner of each Mens division was awarded a samurai sword. Molly paid the same price the men paid, and felt the women winners should be awarded a sword. “After watching all the men get on the podium and the champions received their sword I was excited because I thought I would receive one too. When I found out there was none it did make me upset because I felt like the powers that be viewed a woman's accomplishments as less than a mans.”

Not one to just complain to her friends, Molly wrote a letter to the tournament directors. Molly did not get the response she was expecting, “They told me they weren't going to award the woman's winner a sword. So they said if I wanted that prize, I could enter the mens division and try to win one.”

However it wasn't going to be that easy. The tournament director also told Molly that she couldn't enter the novice division, but had to enter the beginners division. So not only was Molly now forced to grapple a man, she had to grappled experienced men. Molly was satisfied with the decision. “I thought it was more than fair and I was just grateful for the opportunity to compete in the mens division. Not for one second would I have expected any special treatment whatsoever. My experience level fell into the bracket I was placed in and it was not the organizers fault that the smallest weight division was 15 pounds heavier than my walking weight. I did this for the challenge, not for an easy win so I thought the organizers were fair, especially because they didn't have to let me enter the mens.”

However there was one more obstacle Molly was going to have to face, an obstacle many girls in high school wrestling face. She could grapple the guys, as long as no man had a problem with grappling a woman.

Many girls have to do nothing but walk to the center of the mat and get their arms raised when they are scheduled to wrestle a boy. That's because many boys would rather forfeit to the girl, rather than risk losing to her in a real match. Luckily for Molly, she had friends in the beginners division, and no one said they had an issue with grappling with her, “there were a few of them that I had trained with before that had seemed supportive.”

But before Molly could grapple the guys, she had to go against the one other girl in the woman's division. This proved no problem, as she quickly disposed of her opposition, and won the title. Molly was excited that she won the match because the girl was ranked higher than her and much heavier. But she still had her mind somewhere else. “My eye was really on the men's division, that's what I had really been training for because I did not expect any women to enter that year.”

Now it was time to go against the boys. Perhaps the two words that best described Molly's feelings heading into the match would be, “Uh-oh.” To put it bluntly, Molly was up against it.

Not only was Molly going against a man, but she was giving away at least 15 pounds. “the lowest weight class they had in that division was 145. I weighed about 130 pounds at the time.” And though this was the beginners division, Molly had heard her opponent was not new to grappling. “I knew he would be stronger than me. I had also heard beforehand that he had some wrestling experience so I knew I probably wouldn’t be able to take him down.”

There is a saying in sports that many times isn't accurately used. A team full of underdogs will say “Nobody thought we can do it.” But in reality, many times the underdog team will have faith that they can win. So technically, its inaccurate because the players thought they could win.

But for this match, not even Molly thought she could do it. “When I first stepped on the mat and in mentally preparing myself for the match beforehand, I really did not expect to win. I just wanted to test myself and make a point to the organizers.”

While most wrestlers will try to psyche themselves up before a match, Molly's opponent seemed to be cursing his misfortune, of having to grapple a girl. “ I could tell the guy was not exactly excited about going against me, but I didn’t really care because he had an opportunity to speak up if he had any objections.”

While her opponent seemed less than enthused, Molly didn't have many pre-match jitters, “I wasn’t too nervous because I didn’t really have very high expectations from myself.”

The match started and Molly realized she had to be aggressive, “I immediately tried to pull guard. He passed to side control, but I recovered guard again.” However her opponent was just too strong for her. He put Molly in a Ezekiel choke.

A choke in grappling is normally the death nail. This match could have been over before it started, but Molly's opponent's technique didn't match his strength. “He didn't have the choke in the right place. It was across my jaw and was very painful, but not choking.”

However it appeared Molly wasn't very much competition either. The whole match Molly was on her back, and while she wasn't ready to tap, she knew she was in trouble. “He was very strong and I just couldn’t improve my position.”

Many girl wrestlers will say strength doesn't matter, its all about technique. But that's simply not true. Strength does matter, and Molly was finding out the hard way. If you look at the video, Molly was in pain. But though she wasn't as strong as her opponent, what she lacked in muscles, she made up in heart. “I was frustrated because I knew he wasn't trying to improve his position and that he really didn't know the finer details of the submission he was trying to put on. I knew he wasn't taking me seriously and if I could just be patient, let him wear himself out with his bull(expletive) submission maneuver I could find a way to win.”

Molly felt she was being disrespected. She felt the man wasn't taking her serious, and that made her more competitive. “Going into the division I didn't really think I would actually win, but there was a small part of me that did believe it was possible. So I just wanted to have fun and test myself out. But his attitude during the match not taking me seriously did make me angry though. What particularly got me mad was that he didn't have the choke, and he knew he didn't have it. So he grinded his forearm into my jaw instead. That mad me mad! You can ask any of my training partners - I have a switch. it's very hard to push but when it is FTW!”

Unfortunately, talent can usurp heart, and after approximately 2 minutes into the match, Molly's opponent was finally about to get the choke that would undoubtedly lead to a submission. Molly needed to act fast, and at the 2:16 mark of the video, Molly finally started creating some space between her neck and his arms, “I stretched my legs out to relieve the pressure. That allowed me to create just enough space to start slipping out the back.”

But her opponent never lost control. He readjusted and seemed to be back where they started...however that wasn't exactly true. Molly's opponent didn't realize the girl had some wiggle in her, “ I’m not sure if he just didn’t know what I was doing or probably just wasn’t thinking I was a threat as there was a short time left in the match.”

Slowly but surely, Molly was escaping, and when she finally escaped his hold, she had a surprise for him, “It took me awhile to work my way out, but as soon as I had position on him, I slapped on the choke!”

But time was running out and Molly knew this was it. “I knew this was my last chance to win - there was no way I would win on points by that time - and just had to put everything I had into it. I didn't have it locked in perfectly, but no matter how tired I was, I just stretched the (expletive) out of him and hoped he would tap or go out.”

So would her opponent tap?? Much like her opponent, Molly's technique was not flawless. He did not have to tap. It turned into who wanted it more. Molly spent approximately 2:30 seconds on her back, and she didn't come close to tapping. “I am an extremely stubborn person. As a child it used to get me in lots of trouble, but as a fighter it helps me preserver. In competition in my mind - even if I am being dominated - I always think in my head "I'm fine, I've been here before, he / she can't hurt me, I can still win this. I never give up until the bell has rung. Some people fight not to lose, me - I fight to win, always.”

But while her opponent couldn't put her away, the clock could. “Knowing I was almost out of time I just used every ounce of my body in putting pressure on the choke.” And at the 3:09 mark, her opponent tapped!! Molly had won! Molly was euphoric.

She immediately let go of the choke and raised her arm with the widest smile a person can have. She jumped in the air and started celebrating like a champion. “When he tapped I think I was more shocked than the crowd was. I was so ecstatic that I actually won I just jumped up and celebrated.”

Her opponent, seemed crushed. He stayed on one knee as Molly came over to him and performed the most awkward hug in the history of hugs. She slapped his back twice and then jumped up again and did another yelp.

In sports there is no bigger contrast than the winner and loser, and certainly this was the case here. Molly was jumping for joy, while her opponent looked like he was distraught.

“While I was receiving congratulations, he immediately walked off the mat, packed his bag and left the gym – even though he still had more matches left.”

Molly may have had some sympathy for her opponent, but that quickly vanished when she found out who she beat. “While I was waiting for my second match, many people came up to me and said how happy they were that it was him that had been defeated. Apparently he had been making his way through all the local gyms, and was just a jerk and a know-it-all in training. They said it was karma.”

Molly went on to lose her next match, but that didn't matter to her. She performed well and lost on points and once again, refused to tap.

But in the end, only one match mattered. Molly says, “I will never forget how I felt that day. I just had a constant adrenaline buzz for hours afterward and could not remove the smile from my face. I wore my medal from that match for weeks after.”

It was a great day for Molly, as there was more good news, “Oh and another thing... they did have samurai swords for the female division that year... I still have mine :)”

But the sword she still has is no match for the memory and youtube clip of Molly's triumph. She calls it the proudest moment of her life. While Molly believes her opponent had a slight physical advantage, she knows mentally, it wasn't even close. “I think that was the difference between us that day. I do believe there was also a technical difference. Men become so dependent on their strength, women are forced to work smarter and not necessarily harder. We are patient and more flexible generally and I think my patience and great training partners that refuse to take it easy on me won that match for me that day.”

Molly says, she wanted to prove a point. “I believe I was stronger mentally than my opponent. I wanted it more. I was very very hungry and wanted to prove a point, that a women of basically equal strength / technique / weight (give or take some) CAN beat a man. I wanted to prove it to the guy, the organizers, my peers and training partners in Hawaii, but mostly myself.”

Editors note: The video can be found here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRPD7bOoSpc