The 2012-13 wrestling season has seen a lot of victories for girls. My facebook newsfeed and wrestling group has blown up with victory stories and pictures. And though its not all that unusual anymore for a girl to be on a boys wrestling team, many boys still cannot handle losing to a girl.
This story is one that I found rather unique. It’s not your
usual boy loses to girl, gets pissed forever, or boy loses to girl and is immediately
OK with it. Despite both Keneddi and myself asking for an interview with
Robert, he did not respond.
Keneddi Eddings has been wrestling for six years. While
there are many wrestlers who embrace that they are a girl on the mat, Keneddi
is one of those girls that says a wrestler is a wrestler, and while she admits
to enjoying facing boys more than girls because of the challenge, she says, “In
wrestling, a win is a win.”
Last season, she had four matches vs. a boy named
Robert. Before their first match, Keneddi was nervous, which she says, is
natural. “I’m always nervous before a match, I'm
very doubtful. I think about what the boy will do and what I can do to stop it.
He was bigger than me so I thought he would have more strength than me. And I
thought that he was thinking he would have an easy match because I was a girl,
all guys think that. He probably thought he'd go out there and pin me.”
The match started and Keneddi tried to get a feel
of Robert, before going into attack mode. “I played defense more than
being aggressive. He got the first take down and was dominating top. “ But the
lead would be very quick for Robert, as right after they got into referees
position, Keneddi let Robert throw a half, and she countered with a quick roll,
stuck him on his back, and got the pin.
Keneddi 1
Robert 0
As you would expect, the two wrestlers had vastly different
emotions. Keneddi says, “I felt great! It was a win on my record! I got up and
walked to the middle of the circle to get my hand raised and to shake hands
with him. He laid there and threw his headgear and walked off the mat, without
shaking hands.” Keneddi had mixed feelings about Robert’s reaction. “I enjoyed
it, because it made me look good hah. But I got mad because he thought of it as
losing to a girl. He wouldn’t have done it if he were wrestling another boy. It
was disrespectful and it just shows how he felt losing to a “girl.” And I hate
being called a girl. I’m a wrestler. I want to be seen as equal to the boys.”
While Keneddi wanted to be seen as an equal, Robert wanted to
get equal. But Keneddi was fired up for the rematch. “I was thinking about how
bad I wanted the win, how much I deserved it, how bad I wanted to show him that
I wasn't just a girl, I was a wrestler just like him.”
Unlike their previous match, Keneddi was going to try to take
control early. “I started very aggressive because I was angry. And he was
aggressive too. I got the take down and he reversed it. We went to the second
period and I chose down. I always choose down.
I hit a roll again and stuck him and his back and got the pin.” Keneddi
says she was thinking, “I did it, I got it again.”
Same move, same result. It’s my “go to” move. You have to use it
when they're not expecting it because it's simple to stop if they are.”
Keneddi 2
Robert 0
Keneddi says anyone who watched both matches, knew who the
better wrestler is. “It felt good because he couldn't make the excuse that I
won out of luck. He couldn't say that he had a bad day or he was tired. I won a
second time so it showed I was a better wrestler.
And much to Keneddi’s disappointment, Robert’s reaction did not
change. “The same as the first time. Though
this time, his coach made him shake my hand, but he didn't look at me and he
stomped off the mat.” Keneddi refused to sink down to his level. “I composed
myself like any wrestler should. I shook his hand had the ref raise my hand,
then I shook his coaches hand and ran off the mats.”
Keneddi though was, “kinda surprised” when Robert contacted her
on Facebook. He didn’t mention the wrestling match but apologized for being
rude. Keneddi was very pleased. “He said he'd see me at the next tournament, and
that he wanted a rematch so he could finally beat me. I said I hope we get a
match and that was about it.”
Keneddi actually surprised me by what she said next. I asked her
if she had “stuff to prove or not that much?” It was a bad question, because it
led her to an answer. The answer I was expecting was she already proved she
could beat him, the match wouldn’t mean that much to her. But she said, “Of
course I had stuff to prove, he still wanted to beat me and he still thought he
could.”
Turns out, he was sorta right. Robert wanted the match a lot
more than Keneddi, and his performance showed it. At the end of the 2nd
period, Robert had a staggering 10-0 lead. Only five more points and he would
tech the girl that pinned him twice. Keneddi realized this, and decided she
would show Robert moves he hadn’t seen before. “I thought I had nothing to
lose, so take some shots. Try some new moves that I could score with, and give
it my all and nothing less. The worst that could happen was he would get a
tech.”
Robert didn’t get a tech. As a matter of fact, Keneddi smoked
Robert and picked up 10 unanswered points to tie the match. It was now going to
head into overtime! Keneddi’s plan had worked, but there was no time to
celebrate. “I was very nervous heading into overtime. It was like a "fight
to the death" hah. It was all or nothing. I knew he wanted it bad and he
knew how bad I wanted it. I'm a very nervous wrestler and I over think, but
this time all I was thinking is what my coach said to me, "you have more heart."
And it stuck with me during OT. The kid was stronger and faster but I had more
in me to win it.”
Losing, was not an option Keneddi wanted to face. “It would have
been a tough loss. Just to know I worked my hardest and let the win slip away
in OT. It would have been pointless to come back in the first place.”
The overtime started, Robert went for a takedown, and Keneddi
says she did a “funky flip thing,” put Robert on his back and pinned him.
Keneddi 3
Robert 0
While most wrestlers would have forgotten the first two rounds
and focused on the glorious ending, Keneddi says her emotions were conflicted.
“I was mad at myself because I went in cocky and not confident, and I almost
lost because of it.” But she couldn’t deny herself the feeling of glee for the
epic comeback. “It was the best feeling ever! My coach called me Tebow (for Tim
Tebow who at the time generated many 4th quarter comebacks for the
Denver Broncos) because of my great comeback.”
With more time to reflect, Keneddi knew she should have done
better. “I was happy because I got another win, it was good for me. I proved to
myself I have what it takes to become a great wrestler and I showed my coach
that I won't give up, he can trust me in a tight situation to deliver my best .
But I was upset because it was nothing new. Like I was happy I beat him but I
did it before so I wasn't shocked that it happened. I was mad that I let it go
to OT because I beat him so easily before.”
Much like the first match, Robert stormed off the match without
shaking Keneddi’s hand. Despite the new found friendship that was forming, the
loss seemed too hard to take. “I didn’t think he was a sore loser, he was just
very frustrated.”
Going into their fourth match, Keneddi didn’t want to stay
undefeated verse Robert. “It was very important to keep a clean record! I was
undefeated in the league. And this match I was nervous because I knew how bad
he wanted this one too.” But it was more than that for Keneddi. The matches became personal. “Knowing that he
wanted it so badly, does motivate me,, because they think they want it more
than I do, and I know they don't. He's going nowhere with wrestling and I'm
making it into my career. I have to prove myself to my team my coach, scouts
and other team. Everyone saw me beat him 3 times and losing to him the last
time would be the worst.”
“The worst” looked like a certainty. Just like the last match,
Robert had Keneddi in trouble. “He was
dominating the whole match. He got back points consistently and kept getting
take downs. He had me on my back the 3rd period and got a 5 count and was about
to pin me. I was thinking basically "oh crap!" How did I get in this
position! And I just fought to get off my back.”
Keneddi fought hard and eventually turned the tables, and now
had Robert in trouble. “My thoughts before were if I don't stick it I'm done, I
lose, that's it. I have less than 30 seconds to pin this kid. And when the ref
hit the mat a rush of relief went through me.”
Keneddi 4
Robert 0
Relief, not elation. “I felt kinda ‘blah.” I pinned him again. I
didn’t feel it was an accomplishment, even though in retrospect it was.”
But with the perspective of time, Keneddi has come to appreciate
this fourth match. “It was really important to me. Like I said if I
consistently beat him he couldn't say it was out of luck or that he had a bad
day or something. I wanted everyone to know that I could beat him over and over
again. I wanted everyone to know, including Robert, that I am the better
wrestler.”
But don’t take this attitude as cockiness. I’ve seen a lot of
girls be cocky, and Keneddi isn’t that girl. Though he stormed off the mat and
cried every time he lost, she wishes he didn’t, whereas many girls would love
to rub that in. “I do feel I was in his head that season, and I’m glad.”
But she’s not glad because she wants him to feel “owned” as many
girl wrestlers would. She said, “I’m glad I’m in his head because I hope that
motivates him to become a better wrestler.”
And though they are friends now, Keneddi wants him to feel OK
with the losses. “I never have trash talked him. Guys do that to me all the
time, so I would never to it to him.”
But she still wants him to know she’s the better wrestler.
