I Got Your Back

While most of the stories I write are dedicated to wrestling, there have been a few grappling matches that I’ve written about. While the sports have many similarities, the biggest difference I see, is you don’t just beat your opponent in grappling, you make them submit. They decide when the pain is too much, and the only way to stop the pain, is to tap out.

Amanda Leve is 15-years-old, and has been training in BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) for four years. She often has to compete in boys divisions, because there aren’t that many girls, or women to compete with. Amanda enjoys battling either, but she says, “Personally, I like fighting the boys because a ton of more people watches it and I get noticed.”

That’s the other big difference between the sports, when a boy faces a girl. In wrestling, the results are typically confined to whoever was at the match, and word of mouth. But when the genders clash in grappling, there often is a video and said video gets thousands of views. And both competitors would rather thousands of people see their hands raised, then their opponents. The video of this match can be seen here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBL7YUTRlpk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBL7YUTRlpk

Amanda traveled a long way to fight. She’s from Philadelphia, and has traveled all over the east coast, but this tournament was in Vegas.  It was the UFC Fan Exop, and Grappler’s Quest.  She was both excited and nervous.

And she had reason to be. Her name was called and she saw her opponent. She was not facing a scrawny boy, but a young man. His name was Wyatt, and he was two years older, bigger, and didn’t have an ounce of fat on him. Amanda noticed, “The boy I was going to grapple in my opinion was huge and muscular. I thought, ‘Oh great, this might not end well.’” 

Wyatt did not lack for confidence. Amanda says, “He had an arrogant smile on his face. It wasn’t the first time I have seen a smile like that. They (boys) usually all have that smile.”

Amanda says Wyatt’s cockiness did not end there. “We shook hands and he came at me rather aggressively. I was pretty mad how fast and aggressive he was.” Amanda did not travel all this way to get run over. “He didn’t come at me aggressively with technique, he came at me wildly, and I strongly dislike that when it comes to a sport where using technique is key.”

If it was just inexperience, Amanda wouldn’t be upset, but she thought it was something else. “I think he did that because he was going against a girl, and his friends were there.”

For wrestling fans, it would appear Wyatt was dominating. He got Amanda down to the ground in only 5 seconds. But Amanda was “pulling guard.” For those that don’t know what pulling guard means, Wyatt was on top but Amanda had her legs crossed, around his midsection.  So though Wyatt was on top, he wasn’t in control. However Amanda was still nervous. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t, but that’s because I’m always nervous. I felt his strength, and I did get a little nervous, but I reassured myself that I have gone against stronger guys where I train everyday.”

After around 20 seconds in that position, the ref called time and moved the grapplers back to the middle of the mat. They both re-started from the position they were in.

“In jiu jitsu being fast is as good as being strong. I knew I had to move quickly, so I ended up pulling his posture down, and getting an arm triangle and moving around to his back.” It only took Amanda three seconds to get the triangle, and if you listen closely, you can hear him gargle for breath. Amanda did not notice, “I was too in the zone.” 

Wyatt was no longer the aggressor, as he tried to get Amanda off of him. Amanda was in very good position now. She had him on his side, squeezing his neck. But she knew she couldn’t make him tap from this position. “When I had him on his side with the arm triangle I knew that I wouldn’t finish it from there.” She also was not overconfident. “I did not think the match was mine because I never like to assume things especially in jiu jitsu. People can escape things as fast as you put them in it.”

So Amanda decided she wanted to be more in control, and gave up the neck, and scooted behind him to get on his back. “The back take is my best position in jiu jitsu. Many people have trouble escaping my back control.”

Wyatt would prove to be no different. And though he must have been happy to be able to breathe, it didn’t last long. “Once I got his back, I snuck in the rear naked choke which cuts off the blood going to his head. I started squeezing as hard as I could.”

At the 1:09 mark of the video, Amanda had the RNC locked in. Wyatt didn’t give up, and began to try to twist Amanda’s foot. Amanda capitalized on his mistake. “I thought his defense was ok until I got onto his back. His back defense was extremely bad. When you are getting choked the first thing you want to do is protect your neck. He was gabbing at my feet while I was choking him. That is the last thing you want to do when somebody has a choke on.”

Though Amanda doesn’t like to assume victory, she knew what everyone else knew, the end was imminent. “Yes at that point I knew it was over and that I just had to stay strong with the choke. The choke was in so tight because he was not defending right and the back position is second nature to me from drilling it so many times. I was just thinking squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.”

At the 1:16 mark, you can see Amanda gritting her teeth and digging in the choke. Wyatt stayed tough for 10 more seconds, but eventually tapped Amanda’s arm 7-8 times to signify his submission.

It was an amazing moment for Amanda. “I was feeling excited and happy. I was thinking, "HA! YES! Did this just happen?! Wow, there are so many people watching!"

The two went to the middle of the ring for Amanda to get her hand raised. She couldn’t help but show off. “Hahaha I love being in front of the camera. I always put the thumbs up and make a weird smile. It is just me.”

Amanda was ecstatic with the result.  “I couldn't believe how fast I beat him. I didn't expect to beat him so quickly because of how he was built. I was super proud that I beat him so quickly. No disrespect to him, his instructor or school, but I feel as if he was easier than most.”

After the ref put up Amanda’s hand, they competitors shook hands and Wyatt said, “You are stronger than I thought.” Amanda laughed and said, “Good match.”

Amanda still smiles when thinking of the match. “Looking back it feels awesome that I can prove my strength to a boy. I know he was stronger than me so I realized I had to use my strength and speed.”

But she’s not the only one who has “looked back” on that match. To date, it has 46,322 views. When I started writing this story, it had 45,940. So in a couple hours it still has gained almost 400 new views. Amanda loves it. “It is extremely cool to see all the views. It is way more than I could have even imagined and I am still shocked.”

Amanda hopes to be a role model for young girls. “I want little girls to want to start jiu jitsu too! I want everybody to respect girls in jiu jitsu.”

And she has a message to anyone that may go against her in the future; bring your best, because she will. “I will NEVER back down from anybody no matter how big, strong or scary.”

As Wyatt learned the hard way, Amanda “has your back.”

Senior Night Upset!

You can’t get more David vs. Goliath than this story. If a high school senior is going against a high school freshman, 100 out of 100 times, you would go with the senior if you didn’t know the history of the two athletes.  Now make the high school senior a boy wrestler and the high school freshman a girl wrestler. Now you may take the boy senior 101 out of 100 times?

But before you go to Vegas, you better make sure that girl isn’t Brooke Bunch.

Brooke and her Connesville High School team were pissed. They had gotten slaughtered the weekend before, and were ready to extract some revenge. Hagerstown was a welcome sight to Brooke’s teammates. As Brooke said, “This was going to be one of the easiest teams for us to beat.” Just not for Brooke.

You see, Brooke, a 9th grade freshman, wasn’t just going up against a senior, she was going up against the boy on his night…Senior Night.

But Brooke didn’t realize she would be going up against a senior, at least not at first. She was still mad about the weekend prior, but happy that they would be going up against a team not as talented.  “Well, this was a dual meet against one of the easiest teams for us to beat, and it was just after we had gotten beaten pretty bad at a rough tournament the weekend before. It was the Hagerstown Senior Night. The junior varsity kids went first, then our heavyweight and then me. I had gotten beaten an insane amount the weekend before.”

So Brooke decided to try and scope out who her opponent would be. “The seniors were walking with their parents and by the time the heavyweight match was going on, which was right before mine, I realized I was going against a senior. I was really nervous because I never went against one before.”

Brooke didn’t want to believe her bad luck. “Oh no. Please say they're kidding. Come on guys! He's going to kick my butt and go as hard as possible especially since it's his senior night."

But this was no time for a pity party, and Brooke knew it. Once she got on the mat, Brooke’s confidence grew. “The kid had huge leg muscles, but overall he looked pretty weak. Though I can’t underestimate him.”

So despite being 3-4 years younger, Brooke went from being incredibly nervous, to fighting back cockiness. And then the two wrestlers shook hands, something odd happened, both wrestlers thought victory was in the bag. Brooke says, “When we shook hands, I knew for sure I had the match. My hand shake was a lot firmer.” But the Hagerstown boy, named Ryan, didn’t lack for confidence against Brooke. “He had this look in his eyes like he knew he was gonna win. That look drove me harder.”

She was really mad that he had so much confidence? “Yeah it set me off. I knew that if I didn't beat him, he'd brag to all of his friends and everything so I knew I had to put him in his place.”

Then the match started and it was time for both wrestlers to put up or shut up. Her opponent, Ryan, went for the victory early. “He went for a quick shot and got a takedown. I tried to sprawl but couldn’t get out in time.”

The period ended with the boy being up 2-0. Many freshman wrestlers would be freaking out, but not Brooke.  “It was 2-0 him and I knew I had to get a reversal and I wasn't nervous. I'm typically good at getting my reversals. It was a deferral and went to his decision and he chose top so I knew for sure that I had to try my hardest.”

While I wasn’t able to contact her opponent, Brooke says, “He probably felt pretty confident. He most likely felt stronger than me as well. Otherwise he wouldn't have chosen top. My coach knows how good I am on bottom and figured my opponent would chose top which is why we deferred.”

Girls often think their opponent is stronger too, but not this time. Brooke says, “Not really.  I could turn him easily. That usually takes all of my strength. But he had very strong leg muscles.”

The 2^nd Period started and Brooke immediately turned the tables. “I reversed with my sit out switch. I quickly broke him down just enough to slide my legs in and ride him out and eventually got a power half in and got him in a near pinning situation.” She had now taken the lead, 4-2.

That’s when her opponent and teammates started realizing, he was in for a match. “Don't let her beat you on your night!!!" "You can't get beat by a girl!!" and many more remarks.” Brooke heard them all, but felt she was going to do exactly what his teammates didn’t want. Ruin his night. “I got pretty confident because I had been riding legs with a power half pretty much the whole period and he could hardly move.”

And once again, most freshman wrestlers would over exert themselves because of their emotions, and most seniors would have the experience to stay the course. But the roles were reversed.  “I knew I had to keep my emotions under control and stay composed.” Brooke says, her opponent was anything but composed, “I had infuriated him. He was raging. He kept bucking trying to get me off of him.” This spurred on Brooke even more. “Yeah, I understood that if I could just ride him out a little longer he would be mentally broke.”

With the match still very close, Brooke realized how important this was. “Well normally when an opponent is mentally broke they're upset they're losing, getting angry at themselves or the person they're wrestling, or they just give up. And yes, he was mentally broke by the end of the period. I felt pretty confident and excited.”

Ryan  made a critical mistake by choosing bottom for the 3^rd Period. He couldn’t escape Brooke’s legs the 2^nd Period, and things didn’t change for the third. “I was completely baffled. He had been rode out all of last period but still went for it.”

“It” didn’t work. Brooke was able to hold him down  and ride legs until there were 30 seconds left. This was a big match for Brooke and she knew it. “I was extremely worried, but I tried to stay calm and focused.”

 While Brooke wanted to win, her opponent needed to win. And to his credit, he did not give up. “There was thirty seconds left, he knocked me off of him (I was riding legs) and went for my leg. With 10 seconds left, I staggered on foot while he's holding on to the other. I had a 1/4 Nelson in trying to keep him down. 5 seconds left and I'm getting extremely nervous, he takes my legs and starts to lift me but doesn't get a takedown before the buzzer went off.”

The match was over, Brooke had won. But the boy wasn’t ready to accept defeat. He wouldn’t let go, until he finally took Brooke down.  “I kept telling him the whistle blew, to let go. But he didn't until I was on the ground. My seniors got mad, but it was actually kind of funny.”

Brooke has a theory on why he wouldn’t let go. “I don't think he let go because he wanted to show he was still dominant.” But after losing to her 4-2, Brooke doesn’t see it. When I asked if she felt he succeeded in being dominant she said, “No, not at all.” As a matter of fact, Brooke felt it was the other way around. She was the one who felt dominant.

“I had just beaten him on his senior night and left him scoreless for two periods. When we went to shake hands I was pretty calm about it, just the normal firm handshake I always have. But his handshake changed from weak to an extremely  weak handshake. You could tell he was about to burst into tears.”

Brooke couldn’t help but feel for her opponent. “I actually felt bad. I know what it feels like to lose and he had just lost in front of his hometown with everyone rooting him on. I put him in his place and accomplished what I had wanted but at the same time I know how bad that sucks. ”

Though she feels badly for her opponent, she cant help but enjoy her win. I asked her if this was one of her favorite matches, “Yeah, I suppose it is. I liked the satisfaction that came along with the win. Just being able to beat a senior on his senior night felt pretty darn great.”

It’s a match, that Brooke cant help but feel conflicted. “Exactly!! I loved the fact that I had a guy older than me mentally broke and crying but at the same time feel bad because that was probably extremely embarrassing. Haha.”

And while some girls like, but don’t admit they like when the boy cries, Brooke tells it straight. She enjoyed it. “I was glad. That's what he got for underestimating me.”

Brooke’s last words for her opponent and future opponents, “Never underestimate an opponent, they might just surprise you with a win.”

Kayla

For girl wrestling on boys teams, there are many hurdles to overcome. A pleasant personality and strong work ethic and wrestling for the “right reasons” help. But do you know what’s better? Winning. And in wrestling, style points count. Wrestlers may not admit it, but enough have talked about what pin they’ve used or how much their armbar hurt their opponent, to know that if you kick ass, your teammates will notice. And Kayla McRorie knows how to kick ass. But that wasn’t always the case for Kayla.

Kayla goes to Sault Area High School in Michigan. I first interviewed her on August 4, 2010. I asked her if she would be interested in doing a story with me and she responded, “Well, I really don’t have any good wrestling stories.” The 2009-2010 season was not a great one for Kayla. She had a losing record and said she, “Hardly won any matches.” 

Typically I will write to them a few months later and see how their next season is going, and they often tell me they quit the sport. I do understand but I always find it sad, that one losing season can get to them that easily. So I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Kayla started the 2010-2011 season 2-0. On December 26, 2010, I inquired how she was doing and she told me she was 12-3, with “only 3 wins being against girls.” Kayla had obvious pride with having a 9-3 record vs. boys. 

When you think about it, wrestling is the most intimate and personal sport there is. Tennis can play mind games, boxing can break you, but wrestling challenges you in ways that are hard to describe. The competitors are constantly touching and you can feel your opponents will against yours. And in the end, the loser is helpless as he or she cant get up when someone else is holding them down. Then the loser has to go to the middle of the ring, and watch the winners hand get raised.

For the loser, it can be a very humbling experience. And though I often complain about many girls not having a killer attitude, this is my favorite part about girls wrestling. If a girl loses to a boy and has to face them again, they look forward to the challenge.

I’ve asked almost every girl I’ve interviewed their favorite match. And many will say the third match against a certain boy, because they got teched the first time, pinned the second, and almost beat him the third. They glow with pride that this once vastly superior wrestler, is *now* just a little better than them.  Many girls who were beaten by other girls have told me, “Yeah I want to win first place, but I want the match to be against xxxxx, because she beat me last year and I want revenge.”  And most of the girls I’ve spoken to, get significantly better and surprise the wrestler that has beaten them multiple times before.

But for boys, I’ve found its not that way, at least when they have to face a girl that has beaten them before. Caitlyn McCracken beat a boy named Ronnie three times and said, ““And I would like to say it got easier with each match.  Which means I just wanted to beat him more eagerly each time.”  Morgan Belanger beat a boy named James three times and said, “James will always be the person who took the best and worst of me at the same time I guess. He portrayed me to be greater than him, to my team, and thus created me in a greater light. Like I was the greater wrestler, always, when compared against him.” Darby Newman beat the same boy twice, and she said, ““I felt like I had accomplished something great. It was great doing it twice. The feeling of beating this kid again was amazing.”

As you can see, the girls felt invigorated with their multiple victories. And their teammates noticed.

Enter Kayla. It was her first match of her junior year. She was coming off two seasons that she wasn’t proud of. And for the first match, she was facing a boy from Cheboygan High School. Much like Kayla, he too was about to impress me, but in a much different way. Though he gave me permission to use his name, I’m going to call him Chris in case he changes his mind and doesn’t want this story to show up in a google search.

Kayla was coming off an injury and a concussion and she wasn’t planning on wrestling that day, but her new coach asked her if she wanted to give it a go and Kayla said yes. Though Kayla hadn’t been practicing and was coming off what she considered a subpar year, Chris was a welcome site. “Well last year he was like 95ish pounds. So I thought he is smaller than me and I have more experience and he’s a freshman, so I told myself I could beat him. “ She also saw herself in Chris. “As a freshman I was that little 95 pound kid. So I knew what it was like. But I gained a few pounds over the summer and I had been lifting weights so I was stronger. So that’s another reason I was more confident, because I was a little bit bigger and had been going to off-season tourneys all summer. My coach had a lot of confidence in me and I didn’t want to let him down.”

As soon as the match started, she knew she wouldn’t.  “Once he took a shot, I sprawled and I knew I could beat him. He wasn’t very strong. He shot, I sprawled, got behind him and got the takedown. From there he was easy to breakdown. He didn’t have a good stand up and the first time I got a near-fall. I told myself I was doing fine and to just keep doing that the rest of the match.”

Kayla worked hard to try and get the pin but Chris fought her attempts off each time and when the match finally ended, Kayla didn’t know why. “At first when the ref blew the whistle to signal the match was over I was confused because I didn’t notice what the score was. But then I looked over and realized I had teched him, but I really just wanted to pin him.”

Though a tad disappointed with getting the tech, Kayla had a lot to be proud of. She was not 100% for the match, “I was just getting over a concussion, and I was just happy the match was over. I started to feel dizzy.”

It wouldn’t be a good sign of things to come for Chris, as he got teched by a wrestler who was still suffering the effects of a concussion. Imagine what would happen when she was healthy?

Chris was to find out exactly what would happen two more times last season. He went against Kayla twice, and was pinned both times. “I was happy that I pinned him. I like pinning people better because at our school we get pin-pins when we pin a kid. The team manager makes them. We wear them on our varsity jacket, the colors are the school colors from whatever school the kid is from.”

Her teammates began to notice, Kayla was collecting a lot of pin-pins. “My team wasn’t very good, we lost a lot of duals, but my teammates were always happy when I’d wrestle because it was pretty much a sure thing I’d get us team points. Most of my losses from last season were from individual meets. “

Unlike the previous two seasons, Kayla was very happy her junior year, as she finished 32-12, a big improvement over 15-15. “Its dedication. I was wrestling all year long, off-season tourneys, wrestling camps…the victories helped me gain confidence in myself, especially the first time I wrestled Chris. Its nice to beat someone over and over because it shows that you’re actually better than that person, and you didn’t just get lucky.”

But as Kayla proved, things change quickly in wrestling. Especially for boys who have growth spurts. And Chris had one. Kayla went from outweighing him, to being outweighed. They once again met to start the 2011-12 season and just from the looks of things, last years dominance may not continue. “He was my first match and I was a little nervous because he was bigger than me.” But her nervousness was short-lived.

Chris was 112, and Kayla 103 pounds. Chris made the mistake of asking Kayla’s coach what weight Kayla was wrestling at, and when he found out she was smaller than him and not in his weight class, he was relieved. According to Kayla, Chris didn’t want to wrestle her, even though she was smaller and he had an advantage. “I thought it was kinda weird because he was bigger than me now, and I didn’t see why he wouldn’t want to wrestle me, considering I thought he’d just out muscle me. But it didn’t surprise me all that much, because he did bump away from me last year also. It did kind of bug me, but at the same time I just kind of laughed about it.”

Kayla understands that losing to the same person sucks, she’s lost to the same state qualifier a bunch of times, but she says, “I liked wrestling him because I knew the only way to get better, is to wrestle someone better than you.” Once she even pinned the state qualifier, but you have to be willing to get pinned to pin someone.

But it was soon clear why Chris didn’t want to wrestle Kayla. “We shook hands, the whistle blew, Chris took a shot, a really bad one. I realized his technique wasn’t any better from last year. I got an under-hook or a tomahawk, and threw him to his back and pinned him. It wasn’t a very long match.” As it turns out, Kayla didn’t have to worry about being out-muscled. “Not really, as it turns out, he was just taller.”

Kayla was a bit surprised Chris didn’t follow her career path. “Well last year I was just kind of whatever, he’s a freshman, he’ll get better. He was under 100 pounds just like I was. But this year it was just like the same thing, other than he was bigger. I was surprised he didn’t get any better or that he didn’t out-muscle me.” Kayla wanted to know why.

“His teammate told me he just messes around at practice. But I still give him props for sticking with it. I respect most of the wrestlers as long as they don’t throw fits when they lose (to a boy or a girl).”

The next time they wrestled it was more of the same, except the according to Kayla, the ref wasn’t very good. “I had him pinned a few times and the ref never called it. So I ended up teching him 17-0. I was a little annoyed the ref didn’t call it but our team was beating theirs so bad it really didn’t matter.”

While a pin can be quick, a tech is not. You spend a long time out on that mat, where one person is controlling the whole match. “I made him work. I made him shoot, I’d sprawl, get behind, get a near-fall, and he’d end up getting to his stomach. Then we would just repeat the process.”

The third time they wrestled this season Kayla was already being interviewed for the series of matches she had. It was the first time they wrestled since the interview started. A lot was on the line, considering a loss, would change the story dramatically for Kayla. “I was pretty nervous to go wrestle him, because I was like, what if he gets lucky and beats me?” But once the match started, there was nothing to be nervous about. “I calmed down and acted like it was just another match, and that I could do it.”

The video clearly shows the frustration of Chris, and the confidence of Kayla. Chris tries several times to shoot but Kayla easily just backs away. One of his teammates or coaches implores Chris, “Look at what you’re shooting at.” But then the coach is heard saying, “You’re not looking!!” He was right, his head was on the floor when he shot. Kayla quickly capitalized putting him in a front headlock, then grabbing his leg and riding him to the mat. Chris was on his stomach and Kayla ran a chickenwing and pinned him with a little bit left in the first period.”

If you watch the video, it appears Kayla was barely trying. And she and her coach agrees. “ (laughs) I wasn’t really trying, I was being lazy. The next day at practice coach was teasing me and told me I can’t always be so lazy.”

Though she may have been lazy for a match, you don’t go from a pretty bad losing record, to 15-15, to 32-12, to her senior year record of 39-10 by being lazy. You do it through hard work, believing in yourself, and positive reinforcement. And Kayla was able to get that in the form of Chris, who she defeated “six or seven times” by pin or tech without ever losing.

And to Chris’ credit, he agreed to an interview and realizes how good Kayla is. “She is most definitely the best person I've ever wrestled. No doubt. Out of the multiple times I've wrestled her, I have yet to beat her once. She is really flexible, and really strong. My matches with her have been some of my favorite matches.”

His favorite??? I was floored when he said that. He explained, “They've always been the toughest matches. I've had some pretty hard matches before, but none as hard as her.” Kayla had a similar reaction “(laughs) I’m not going to lie, that surprised me.”

Chris was mature beyond his years, and a class act. But he also was too self aware for his own good. “I really want to beat her, but honestly, she has alot more skill than I do, and I dont plan on beating her.” Kayla says she hopes Chris loses that attitude, because he will never get better. “No wrestler should think like that because anything is possible if you work hard enough for it. Because if you think you can’t do something then you won’t be able to. I used to be just like that having a negative attitude towards my opponents that were better than me.”  

And then Kayla told me about a time she lost to a girl, wanted a rematch, got it and beat her with a four point move with 30 seconds left to beat her by 1, at the finals of a tournament.

And that’s what I loved about writing this story. Kayla want from a girl who wrestled that had little confidence and didn’t believe in herself, to someone who doesn’t back away from a challenge, and became a wrestler. I’m hoping I can say the same thing about Chris next season. My advice would be work as hard as Kayla did.

Confidence is Key: The Story of Rebecca Myers

One of the first girls to help me with this project was Rebecca Myers. Rebecca was one of my favorites from the start. She was very into judo and wrestling and was one of the biggest contributors to my first wrestling group.

Rebecca was no superstar on the mats, her size made her an underdog in most of her matches against boys. She was only 4’9. However she made varsity her junior year at the 103 pound weight class. She ended up winning only two non forfeit victories vs. boys, but there are plenty of girls who win zero matches.

Rebeccca was so into girls wrestling, that in 2008 she started to write a short fictional story on it. This is all important information because it shows just how much passion Rebecca had during her high school years for the sport. But passion isn’t always a good thing. Sometimes passion brings intelligence, and intelligence isn’t always a good thing. In wrestling, ignorance can be bliss.

Many of the frustrating moments writing this book is the girls attitude and thoughts when going against male opponents. When I was their age and had to face a boy in tennis, I didn’t have his stats readily available, and we normally never met each other beforehand. Now with facebook, many wrestlers know of other wrestlers in their weight class, and know who the “beasts” are. I never wanted to know my opponent, unless I knew I was better than them. Because I didn’t want to be intimidated before a match.

Many girls are naturally intimidated by any boy simply because boys are “the stronger sex.” Yes, boys are typically stronger but that doesn’t have to be the case, and quite often, its not. But even when a girl dominates boy, the girl think its all technique, when sometimes its strength. I’ve seen lots of videos and pictures of well defined girls beating lanky boys. But the girls get it in their head they are weaker.

Rebecca was one of the girls, which in my opinion knew too much. In the group she’d debate about which male college wrestling programs are the best. Her love for the sport was both a positive and negative. But before her senior year her coach told her something that she needed to hear. "I think you've got the strength and technique to start turning some guys. If you go crazy, you should start winning. No one from beginner to decent should beat you." Before Rebecca’s senior year she told me, “So many people drill into our heads that girls cant wrestle, that soon we believe them.”

Fast forward to 2012, and Rebecca messaged me about a match she wanted me to write about. Rebecca beat the boy, months before she actually wrestled him. This is the story, of how if you just believe in yourself, you will prevail.

Rebecca competed in a local wrestling club run by athletes and coaches from one of the best collegiate teams in the country, Cornell. She says, “During one practice, a coach from Newark Valley, a local high school team was attending to help out and to coach a few of his wrestlers. He came over to speak with me, asked me how my season was going, and told me about his team’s 103-pounder who “didn’t stand a chance.”

A little while later, Rebecca was at a dual meet tournament, when she was scheduled to face the boy from Newark Valley, and her eyes lit up. “When I began warming up for my match, I remember thinking, ‘This kid’s coach doesn’t even believe he can win. I won’t let him win.” The 4’9 girl was no longer the picked on, she was the bully.

The wrestlers went in for the handshake, and Rebecca’s confidence only grew. “As soon as I felt his weak handshake, I knew he was scared. I was thinking I had to win this match. It was mine already.” Rebecca loved being the hunter instead of the hunted.

“Honestly, I was pumped. Usually when I wrestled, I hesitated off the whistle and waited for my opponent to make a move. But this time I didn’t hesitate. I knew I could plow through this guy. I tied him up as fast as I could and went to work.”

While the boy did a decent job sprawling, it was Rebecca who was taking all the shots. She took him down “quite a few times” and rode tough on top. Rebecca says, “It felt amazing to be dominating my opponent. It was easy for me to break him down and keep him from escaping. I’ve always had problems being aggressive, but this match I didn’t.”

But it wasn’t all glory for Rebecca. “I was frustrated I didn’t pin him in the first period. I wanted to pin him as fast as I could. But I was determined to dominate the second period as I had the first.” And she did. This time, the boy would not escape Rebecca’s pinning attempts, as she ended up on top of him, and the ref slapped the mat for the pin. Rebecca felt satisfied. “I set out to pin him and I was really proud I did. I proved to myself that my attitude mattered a lot.”

Rebecca ads “Don’t get me wrong, the boy was very strong. But I set the tempo, I controlled the positions, I dominated the match.”

Rebecca says that she wished she could go through all her competitions with this mind set. “Of course I wish I had this attitude before. After this match, when I wrestled guys I had never seen before, thinking of this match helped. And as cheesy as it sounds, confidence is key. And that confidence can come from almost anywhere, even the opposing team’s coach!”

It’s a lesson, I hope future girls listen to. Because if more girls believed they could compete, and beat boys, they would.

One for the Books!

Her match was one of the last ones of the night and she was standing with her teammates. Samantha Rebentisch had her warm up gear on, and was jogging in place, getting ready for her match. Her teammates, at Jonathan Law High School in Connecticut would occasionally come over to say a few words, but pretty much, they left her alone to concentrate.

Across the gym, the Brookfield wrestling team were all huddled around one wrestler. It was Samantha's opponent. Samantha noticed. “They were looking at me and just laughing.” But this isn't anything new for Samantha, “ I wasn't thinking much of it when they were laughing at me I've had boys laugh at me before matches all the time even parents would make rude comments and laugh at me but I would shake it off.” But what she couldn't shake off was the importance of this match. “ “I was freaking out because it was one of the last matches of the day and Brookfield was the team that won their side of the bracket, while we won ours. This was it, we were going for first.”

Samantha is 15, a sophomore and wrestles in the 103 pound class. Her opponent for the night was a little smaller, at around 98 pounds. But Samantha wasn't about to judge a book by its cover, “It gave me a little confidence, but I've wrestled guys his size before and sometimes they were my hardest matches.”

The wrestlers stepped onto the middle of the match and Samantha's nerves were jumping. “I was so excited and nervous because the gym was packed and everyone was watching us, because I am a girl.”

What made her even more nervous, was who was watching. “My parents, teammates parents were all cheering me on and my team was lined up against the wall cheering.”

Finally the match started as both wrestlers started to circle. Immediately, the Brookfield wrestler made a mistake. “He took a lousy shot and I defended it by sprawling on his back. I put in underhooks and tried to turn him.” Though the match was in its infancy, Samantha was getting pumped. “I could hear my team cheering, and I knew I had to win this.”

The match was only in its infancy, yet already Samantha was going for the kill, while her opponent tried to avoid the inevitable. “I got to his back and he kinda just scrunched up in a ball. I laced one of my arms through his leg, and one around his shoulder and rolled him into a cradle. My team got louder, my coach got louder, and the whole gym was cheering and standing up.”

Things couldn't be going better for Samantha, “In my mind I was going crazy. All I could think was that I was actually going to win this match! I was doing so well. When I caught my leg around his and stretched him out to where he couldn't move I felt over the moon! I was so happy.” The early domination surprised her opponent, “You could tell that he was caught off guard and he was shocked,” Samantha said.

But to his credit, her opponent didn't give up. “He started to kick from under me, so I took my free leg and hooked it with his free leg and straightened him out so he couldn't move.” The end was near, and Samantha knew it. “I was thinking that I was actually going to win this.”

“I heard the ref slam his hand on the mat and blow his whistle, and the whole gym was going crazy! My team was jumping up and down, all the parents in the stands were jumping. I let him go and rolled onto my back. I jumped up and sprinted to the middle of the mat. We shook hands and the ref raised my hand...I was so happy. The guys that I always joke around with hugged me and threw me in the air. I think they were more happy than I was!”

It was also the first time a girl had ever pinned a boy at her school. “I felt amazing, there had been one other girl on varsity a couple years back but she never won a varsity match, so it was one for the books!”

It was a different reaction from her opponent. “The kid walked back over to his team and hid behind them. I could see him crying. I didn't feel bad at all, it made me feel accomplished and I knew I showed there team that you shouldn't take girl wrestlers lightly. We ended up beating their team, and winning the whole meet.”

A season later, Samantha hopes she changed his opinion on girl wrestlers. “I hope I did, I hope that if he ever has to wrestle another girl again he will take it seriously and not like a joke. If I saw him this season I would probably just ask him straight out how he feels about it now and what did he go through from his team.”

No "Luck" This Time

Darby Newman wrestles at 125 pounds for Bellefontaine High School. Darby was all set to wrestle her opponent from Stivers High School, when she overheard the boy, Danny, tell one of his teammates that he didn't want to wrestle her because she was a girl. Darby was surprised, because she has two female friends on Stivers, Brandi Boo, and Clarice Mueller-Johnson.

While some girls get intimidated by boys because of their strength, Darby felt very confident before the match. “My coach and I talked before my match about what I needed to do to win my match and going into the match, and I was pretty stoked because he didn't look that strong.” She also wasn't happy that he didn't want to face her. “I was ready to show him I could hold my own even though I was a girl.”

But the match didn't start out well for Darby. The boy took a shot and scored. However his lead was very short lived, as he left his head hang over and Darby flipped him. “ It surprised both of us. But it felt amazing, like no one could beat me!” Darby scored the reversal and started to get back points, but the buzzer beat her. Still, she was up 5-2 after the first period. “I knew I had a nice lead but I still needed more points to win.”

Her opponent chose to be on top to start the second period. “His first move was to try to ride me but again he left his head high, and I flipped him again. I was very excited to throw him again, but very mad when I didn't get the points since we were out of bounds.”

The second period ended with no scoring and Darby still had the three point lead. It was Darby's decision where she wanted to start the third period from, and she chose the top. “I took the top knowing I could ride him, and he wouldn't be able to score off me.” Darby's first move was to slide her legs in, but she got too high and they rolled. However it turned out to be a great move, because, “Somewhere in the middle of rolling, I found a pinning spot and stopped.” The whistle blew and the ref slapped the mat...is what should have happened. “We sat there for more than a minute and the ref didn't call the pin. Finally I let him belly out and I scored three more points. Now I was up 8-2. I put him in a half and threw it again. He tried to fight out of it but couldn't, so we just sat there waiting for the ref to call the pin.” But once again...he didn't.


“It did bother me that the ref didn't call it. It felt like he was not calling it cause I was a girl.” Darby wasn't the only one who thought it was a pin. Danny's teammate Brandi also thought he was covered, “She had him down for a good while. I was surprised the ref didn't call a pin.”

While Darby was disappointed with the refs decision, she was elated with her victory. “Winning 11-2, showed him I could fight. I was pretty stoked with a 11-2 victory.” Darby also thought she wanted it more, “The third period was pretty easy; he was pretty tired after the second.”

The ref then brought both competitors to the middle, and raised Darby's hand. “I felt like I was on top of the world when the ref raised my hand. I was truly glad because I showed a lot of people I could hold my own even after people thought I couldn't win.”

Besides the victory, Darby was also happy she could win in front of Danny's two female teammates. “ Both girls were very happy because they really didn't like that he was talking crap about another female wrestler.”

Even though their team lost, Darby was right, both Brandi and Clarice were thrilled. Brandi said, “Yes, I was rooting for Darby! As a female wrestler, It makes me happy to see another female beat a boy in a match. Especially because I know how hard it is. So it's always great to see a girl do well in this sport because a lot of people say "oh, that's a boy's sport! You can't do that!" As much as I love my teammates, it's pretty cool watching a girl beat their butt.” Clarice added, “It's so uncommon to meet another girl wrestler that every time I do there's a sense of mutual support. In such a challenging and male dominated sport I think us girls need to stick together. I was really happy for her. Even though she'd beaten one of my team mates I was still excited. I'm pretty sure Brandi and I were smiling ear to ear when Darby won.”

As you might expect, one person who wasn't smiling was Darby's opponent Danny. Darby says Danny just sulked the rest of the day, and Darby was not happy about it. “I thought it was very unsportsmanlike like and it kinda made me mad. So what if you lose? Everyone loses at least one time.”

Darby thought that was the end of it, but the next weekend they had to wrestle again. What Darby didn't know was what Danny said after the match. According to Brandi, Danny made several excuses why he lost and said, “If I wrestle her again I'm not going to lose.”

He would get his chance, but Danny was not the only one who was confident. After her semi-easy victory, Darby was bordering on being too cocky. “I laughed and felt ready to take him on again; to show him that I wasn't just lucky the first time.”

The match started and Darby let her emotions get the best of her. “I went into the match way too hot-headed. I thought I was going to beat him pretty badly, and it was going to be easy.”

It wasn't. The first period ended 4-4. “Both my coach and I were surprised that the match was so close,” Darby said. If Darby was surprised how Danny was taking it to her the first period, she was shocked at what happened during the 2nd round. “He took the bottom, got a reversal and two back points to take a 7-4 lead. I was really surprised and very mad about how the match was going.”

After the 2nd period ended, Darby did not think she had a comeback in her. “I was thinking I'm going to lose this. After all this work I was about to give up.”

But a great part about wrestling is the coaching. Darby needed love, but she needed the tough variety. And she thought back to an old coach, whose voice popped into her head and said, “"Newman, work your hardest no matter the fight!"

Right then she got head back in the match. “I started thinking about all the ways I could win the match. I also wasn't about to let my opponent get redemption from last week.”

Unlike last week, Darby realized she couldn't just ride out the period. She needed the points so she chose the bottom. Danny rode her and put her in a full-nelson. The move is illegal and cost her opponent a point. There was one minute left and Darby was still down two. Darby got free to gain another point, but she was still one point behind.

There was 30 seconds left, and Darby screamed to herself, “I need a take down now!” While some wrestlers might panic, Darby was in full control. “We had practiced this scenario in the gym. I had done this before in practice, now it was time to do it for real.” And boom! She shot, and put him on his back to take an 8-7 lead with only 10 seconds left.

Darby thought to herself, “Did I just really win this match?” The refs whistle blew and it was official. Yes she did. Darby won 8-7.

As the wrestlers got up, Danny said something to Darby. The ref heard it and took away a team point from his school. Brandi said that got many of her teammates upset. But Brandi wasn't too upset, because she was proud of Darby. “Danny was furious, but I honestly laughed about it when Darby won a second time against him. I think it was a humbling experience for him. The second time really proved that there was no way she won the first one by an accident or any other stupid excuse Danny used. She won fair and square, twice. I think that was a BIG ego bruiser to him.“

While it was a big ego bruiser to Danny, it was a big ego BOOSTER to Darby. “I felt like I had accomplished something great. Even though it was only one match it was great coming back and doing it twice. The feeling of beating this kid again was amazing. The crowd was cheering and everyone was watching. They knew I didn't get lucky, I showed them I wasn't a female wrestler, I was just a wrestler.”

As for Danny's multiple excuses and comment that he wouldn't lose to her again? “I believe any excuse is just a way to blame someone else for your mistakes. Yes it makes my victory so much sweeter! I will see him again next year and hope to wrestle him again!”

The Start of a Victorious Career

It was Megan Moroney's first varsity tournament, and there was one word that described her feelings. Intimidated. Megan had been wrestling for two years, so making it to varsity was a big deal. However she lost her first match and was moved to the consolation bracket. The nerves got worse when she realized that if she lost the next match, she was out. And she didn't want to start her varsity career like that. Megan says, “It was extremely important to me to win my next match. At that point in time it was the most important match in the world. There was a massive amount of people watching considering I was on the closest mat to the them. It was more than just winning any match, I wanted to prove something. I got it set in my mind girls are just as good as boys and i was going to win.”

She kept looking around to see who her opponent was, and then she spotted him, an older taller boy. Megan is a 9th grader and 5'1. Her opponent was a 5'5 junior. She was concerned, but then thought she had better get some confidence. “I got it into my mind I was going to win. I wanted it more.”

Before the match the traditional handshake took place, and Megan wanted to turn the intimidation tables. “I like to intimidate my opponent, so I grabbed his hand hard. His facial expression was priceless. His face went from an, “I'm gonna pin her look, to she's gonna pin me.”

After the ref blew the whistle the wrestlers circled and locked up, “When we first tied up I was still very nervous because if I lost that match I would have been out. But my nerves stopped when he shot because for some reason they go away when the match truly begins and I get focused on my moves.”

The boy shot and went for a double leg, but Megan was too quick. “ I sprawled too fast and ripped a hard cross face until I circled behind and got my takedown. I was persistent with my cross face and when i circled and got my takedown I relaxed and knew it was me who was going to dictate this match.”

Megan got her two points but just as she was going for the pin, the buzzer went off. The rounds were only 1 minute and 30 seconds due to it being the consolation round, and Megan felt she was jipped of her first period pin. “I did want a first period pin for two main reasons. One, wrestling all three periods gets very tiring and you're at your best when you have energy to do the moves. Secondly, it would make me appear as a very good wrestler which I'm striving to be.”

But she was still up 2-0 and now had to focus on the 2nd round. Her opponent chose the down position and Megan broke him down with a chop arm. Megan says, “He got really cocky and tried to explode up. He tried to explode up and while I was still tight wasting him. He he thrashed his arms and I think he was trying to elbow me so he would get his escape. I just said to myself just because I'm a girl doesn't mean that is going to work for him. He was most likely stereotyping me, thinking I would be weak. He was very wrong.”

Megan countered the older boys move by applying more pressure and throwing in a half. “He buckled under the slightest bit of pressure, but couldn't flatten himself out. I drove the hardest i could and got him to his back. I probably should have broke him down first but my momentum and adrenaline was to strong to stop myself.”

Megan now was in full control and she was seconds away from victory. Megan says, “I was thinking to myself I can't let him roll through. If I had I would never forgive myself.”

She wouldn't have to, as the ref blew his whistle, and slapped the mat, signifying Megan's victory.
“When you pin someone that sound is almost like being told you've won a million dollars. But it gives you more than that. It brings you great dignity, especially if your a girl.”

One of the great aspects of baseball and hockey is, when you win you can go nuts. But in wrestling there is a code, and excessive celebration is heavily frowned upon. That was not lost on Megan. “When I got up I was a good sport in helping my opponent up. If there's anything I hate it's being a bad sport so i always try not to be. It reflects bad on the team. Even though its very individual wrestling is still a team effort. I was stopping myself from jumping up and down and screaming because if I did I'm sure he would have started balling.”

The wrestlers moved to the center of the ring and then the ref flew Megan's hand in the air. “When the ref raised my hand it made the whole experience worth it. I know everyone was watching since I'm a girl, so it felt amazing for them to see that a girl beat a boy. My opponent's face was red and it was the pre-crying red too. He tried to get off the mat as soon as possible and didn't look me straight in the eyes. I laughed a little inside. He should have focused more on wrestling than trying to focus on not losing to a girl.”

But unfortunately for her opponent, Megan was able to see what happened next. “He hid behind his team. As I was putting my warm ups back on I did notice him crying and it gave me even more of a feeling of accomplishment. Sort of a take that and girls can wrestle and will continue to so get used to it.”

While some critics may fault Megan for enjoying her opponent crying, Megan feels no guilt. “It gave me a feeling of accomplishment because I put a boy in his place and it stood for so much more than wrestling. It stood for the fact that women can't let them do what they do and we need to fight back and stand up for ourselves. Also, personally I just found it funny.”

Megan said this victory propelled her to a solid season. “This match got me used to being around a big crowd with more with one wrestling mat. I was more comfortable after that tournament and it also showed my I could win at them.”

Megan went on to win six more varsity matches after this one, and qualified for the WPIAL tournament, which is a county tournament. Next year, she has even bigger aspirations. “I not only want to qualify for the WPIAL's, I want to place. And regionals also.”